SnapShots

Family – a unit of Humanity…a haven of togetherness … a Sanctuary of culture.

It’s the co-existence of parent’s Love, Grandparent’s Wisdom and Sibling’s affection.It’s the place to learn some of  your life’s most important lessons of Selflessness and sacrifice. Since its almost rare to see such values personified in the outside world, which is full of trickery, hatred and self-interest.

Parents are Gods on earth is something that I agree whole-heartedly.The ideals of selfless love, sacrifice and unswerving care can only be experienced in a Mother’s bosom and a Father’s lap. Childhood is the time when we experience it so routinely that we often take it for granted.

Its only when we are exposed to the outside world, that after seeing all the nasty things that life has to offer, that we look back and cherish those moments. This holds especially true for all of us, who came so far and have become so immersed in “makin it big”.

We miss the overflowing love of  Mother, the pragmatic teachings (and often scoldings ) of Father, the love and care of a Sister/Brother and the timeless wisdom of Grandparents.

Its true that only the absence of something can make us realize its importance.Consider yourself to be lucky, if you still have the opportunity to love them back. Never trust time, take it seriously and make the most of it to give something back.

When you are away from them, there would be no one who would nag you for the morning cereals or would scold you on watching too much TV.

The very things that seemed irritating in childhood are the things that I miss now.I miss being woken up at 6 in the morning and being reminded to study for that exam.I miss being told to brush my teeth.I miss being scolded for excessive spending … I miss that nagging…

You too would.

Friends… the quintessential angels that decorate your life so wonderfully, that years later they still bring a smile on your face.

But, ‘who’ are these friends…

Friends are people. And People change. They change due to circumstances. They change when self-interest overpowers their emotions towards you. Assuming that self is more important, this change seems to be justified and hence forgivable.

But how does one deal with the disappointment that arises when friends change, and they change for good.How does one easily ’forgive and forget’ the person and the deep hurt associated with the disappointment?

I believe that, what we call ‘Friends’ are not  the people, but the emotions of brotherhood and camaraderie that they represent. We get attached to that sense of togetherness  and mutual respect.

One would easily discern that greater the ’degree’ of these emotions they express, the more closer you get to them. There’s nothing wrong in that i suppose…

The better way to ‘move on’ would be, to still reminisce the ‘Friend’  a.k.a the emotions that they represented, but get detached from the ’one’ who personified them.Since, the person was just the means and not the end.

I do not know, whether such theories make any sense in practical relations. But, it brings to my mind an ancient saying,which somehow  seems more practical to me than the real world - ‘ We all are just an illusion in the dream of God’.

I’ve come a long way.  Its only in Adulthood, that one can recognize the fresh innocence of childhood.Following are my current faithful descriptions of ‘Innocence’ and ‘Joy’ as-i-see-it.

Innocence – seems to be like a distant virtue, buried somewhere in the past.

Joy – although exhilarating,  somehow has a diluted feeling about it.

As we know, Age and experiences, make a man out of a kid. They bring new perspectives and understanding.But at what cost?

Somehow subconsciously, we have forgotten to enjoy the little things.Age takes away the innocence and experiences slowly erode the little joys of life.

I recall my childhood days, when even the smallest of joys would make my day!

The evening ‘Terrace Cricket’, the 50 paisa ‘pepsicola’ in the sweltering summers, the new G.I.JOE’s on birthdays, the shopping for firecrackers during diwali…mann…. there’s no substitute to those days.

Back in those gleeful days,I  remember how joyful and ecstatic I was when dad told us that he was  going to buy a Fridge. It was such a joyful moment. I recall me and my sister sitting and thinking about all the wonderful things we would keep in that new Fridge. I so wanted to keep chocolates and Ice-creams in it. We also discussed how we would organize the stuff to make it look good. Even a mild remembrance of it brings a smile on my face.

Today, even my  electronic gadgets and my new car don’t  invoke as much happiness.

I found this wonderful quote somewhere -

“The next time it begins to rain… lie down on your belly, nestle your chin into the grass, and get a frog’s-eye view of how raindrops fall… The sight of hundreds of blades of grass bowing down and popping back up like piano keys strikes me as one of the merriest sights in the world.”

The day I feel even 50% of what joy the author expresses, I shall be the happiest person.
Somehow, this tradeoff of innocence for being a grown-up, doesnt seem to be fair.

I always wondered, what made a man to achieve anything whole-heartedly or atleast begin his quest towards whatever goal he might have chosen for himself.

Why do I never end up achieving any of my New-Year resolutions… Often cursing myself to be too dumb to do it..

I always wondered, what is that moment, that ‘click’ which initiates action towards the goal whatever that may be.

Based on my seemingly endless attempts to succeed at some of my ‘resolutions’ , I would always ask why do my feet stop midway, or rather don’t even begin to take any steps towards it?

What does a Man require to achieve anything? Even after ‘knowing’ the need to achieve something, why do we still find ourselves  ’stuck’, almost paralyzed by the power of our own inertia.

What I realized based on my own little experiences is that whenever  I was successful at any resolution, it was only after the goal was completely justified in my heart, which would automatically reset my priorities and suddenly I would find myself making the efforts to realize the goal.

Bottomline being that action , whatever that may be, can be initiated if one’s heart is completely justified of the worthiness of its goal.

This justification might arise internally, through analysis, or from outside influences ( wonder why suddenly you would start studying hard after lookin at how motivated your peers are towards that dreaded exam..)

If we take this a little further then it could mean that if one can successfully self-hypnotize to justify ones heart about even the most heinous of crimes, he shall find himself more inclined to do it.

I also believe, that even mere repetition of the idea of something can reach a point where the it would be completed accepted a.k.a justified by one’s heart.This could explain why as a people who once opposed the western culture so vehemently, have somehow gradually accepted it.

Ending this post, I just hope to find my complete justification for achieving my yearly resolutions.

I know, emotions are cheap these days.In fact so cheap, that people wouldn’t even give a second thought as to whom they are hurting.What matters in today’s ‘modern world’ (lolz, that makes me  sound like an 80-year old!) is one’s own extremely precious ‘ego’.

Now, before you assume anything about me preaching or anything, let me warn you that I am not.I have no business to teach people. I believe relationships are best understood first-hand and have little place for outside ‘advice’.

However, at the risk of sounding like a religious pedagogue,I shall say that I sometimes feel an intense need within to remind people to slow down , give their fighting ‘egoes’ a well-deserved rest, enough to let their intellect analyse a proper response.Believe me, its not at all that hard.

Once as a child I had read this teaching in our spiritual books and I am sure even you must have heard it somewhere,that ” To hurt others is to hurt yourself “. I never understood it at that time and never bothered to research more either.But as life would have it for me, there was a period in my life of intense spiritual self-study, where I had the fortune to actually understand what it means and I felt I must share it with everyone.

The roots of this teaching lie in our Vedas ( those 4  volumes of Hindu religious material … gosh they are huuugee… but boy, they do teach some gems of wisdom). Its a fundamental idea in Hinduism that we are not merely a bag of flesh and bones but are something more abstract. They call this abstract thing as ‘Atman’ or ‘Self’. This Self is neither our ego nor our intellect but something beyond our minds field of perception . And we all  constitute this One Self and hence we are all One.

(Wait! I know you are getting a lil bored or feeling a lil overwhelmed with this religous jargon but I promise I wont stress on the technical part more)

What makes it interesting is the moral implication of the above statement i.e. We are One. So if we take this a little further it would mean that hurting others would be the same as hurting yourself. And hence the teaching.

I dont intend to have produced a ‘Eureka’ moment in you, nor consider this a teaching(we’ve had too many philosophers and teachers puhhleeaseee!) .But maybe a little food for thought?